If you’re reading this, then congratulations. I guess. There was a time where this was my refuge from a tunneled out VGF Blog web page with my plan being to shift onto a new website called Writscrib as Tumblr sucked and still does. WELL… Writscrib shut down and Tumblr would probably say I’m inappropriate for advertisers. So… this is pretty much my permanent residence barring some shiny new website showing up.
Warioware Gold I’ve been an off again on again Warioware fan for a while as I’ve either vibed through them or surrendered because it was a game I rented. So Warioware Gold was a good time to step back in. Then I ignored it for years. I feel like I didn’t have to because it’s a short game in terms of content. It feels shorter than Warioware Touched but that’s probably because there’s far more to unlock and far less reason for me to go beyond that afterwards. Anyway, Wario’s just got back home after taking some artifact from a place, but he’s broke and in order to get that money he loves he’s held a tournament to find the person that can beat all his friends’ challenges. In practice you’re going through all the control styles the handheld games had: buttons, gyro, and touch. It’s a bit of a pain to switch between but you can still pause the games so it’s not a total waste. It’s certainly harder than the other games in spite of that. That may also because not all the games show what you’re supposed to do very clearly. There’s a game where you’re supposed to give someone the right amount of change but I didn’t catch on to it immediately. I’ll also say that in terms of cut-scenes in this game there is more budget and voice acting but I really didn’t care for it. In terms of animations it’s usually a couple of people talking in a room and rarely anything more. Also, personally, I think the currency thing they have going for this game where you use gold coins for a gatcha device is too dull of a payoff for me. Other than that, it’s a really good Warioware game and I think it’s one of the best in the franchise aside from those few things. If you want a be all end all Warioware game to play, this one is certainly good enough for you. Now let’s dance!
I sit alone in an empty stadium throwing peanuts at cardboard athletes because in real life I’d have my limbs torn off.
So I played a bunch of old games, and a few new ones. I’ve gone around the sports game racetrack a few times: Hockey, Rugby, Futbol, Soccer, Football, Touch Football, Flag Football, Arena Football, Mark of Queensbury Rules Football, Lacrosse, and more (Football). Over time, I drifted away from these games for… no real reason to be honest, but enduring Pro Wrestling for the NES made me look back and wonder about the traveling bar of quality for the sports genre. Each one going by the beat of its own drum and many not meeting the standard of the general public. Whether you’re dealing with technology limitations, mechanics added or removed, or just plain old game balance sports games are a very different beast compared to most games. They’re made with an even playing field in mind, a sport to emulate rather than just whatever’s in your head. Over the years we’ve gotten used to sports games being an annual thing with each sport represented by one company and made to capitalize on fans of sports. But it wasn’t always like that and with so many some amount have to still be worth playing. Right? So what does it take and what hinders a good sports game?
Oh and as I’ve covered the topic separately before, I’m not bringing up Microtransactions as a reason. They’re bad. I’ve said so before. It’s obvious that it’s bad. Let’s move on.
Oh boy, I have no time and nothing on my plate. Quick! What’s relevant?
Oh no. Can I go back to whining about Pokemon? I don’t want to get DMCA’d.
So… The Last of Us 2 came out and the consensus is that it’s bad across just about everywhere except maybe a few hold outs on Twitter. Gameplay isn’t amazing and the world surrounding the game itself practically chokes you with concepts tackled better in places like Spec Ops: The Line (and even that game arguably didn’t do it that well). There’s a lot to be said on how it handled the cycle of violence message in a way that is almost incompentant, but that’s not why I’m here. I’d have to actually engage with that game in some way to make my points and I haven’t. I HAVE however, noticed a similar complaint from multiple people that have played the game. In TLOU2, you have two playable characters and you switch between them intermittently through the story. Ellie and Abby have no extreme difference in control as far as I’m aware and while their upgrade trees are different there’s nothing stopping you from playing both characters the same. It’s a switch that is made primarily for the story but it seems to be a big sticking point in terms of gameplay. For some, the beginning spent with Ellie was the best part and switching to Abby brought the game to a crawl that it can never quite pull out of. With others, Ellie’s part could have been shrunk down to a cutscene while Abby should have been the protagonist throughout. In either case, it seems the protagonist switching didn’t work, especially given that you’re going back and forth between large chunks of game in an attempt to make Abby relatable and Ellie less so? I really shouldn’t say anything I can’t back up.
Anyway, multiple characters in a game. It can be bad sometimes, let’s talk about that.
Am I breaking another promise? I forget, so it’s the perfect time to do this one.
Last time on Steven Universe, Rebecca got an award for her cartoon (Thanks to The Answer) and is set to put Steven Universe on the map. This Season is supposed to be the one that got most people into the series if 1 and 2 didn’t do it. Will it be the best of the seasons? Will I remember anything that happened? What spoilers am I still aware of? Let’s find out!
…Okay, so. Peridot betrayed Homeworld officially and is now stuck with Steven. They’re looking for the Cluster, an object that will destroy the planet when it activates. Otherwise, I don’t think anything big is being thrown into my face, so let’s see how wrong I am.
Episode 1: Super Watermelon Island -Cut to an island and SURPRISE YOU’RE A WATERMELON STEVEN! -Is it a Watermelon Steven, or is there more to this? -HEHEHE He pukes up seeds when he talks. -Wait, Dog Watermelon? -Watermelon Steven society… What are they growing anyway? Technically they’re plants so they’d just need the sun or soil to exist. Are they tilling bedspace? Am I looking far to much into a single shot in this show? -Yeah, I knew if I waited one more second, the farm thing would be explained. -W-Watermelon Horse? -Just got a child thumbs up. -Praise the Sun -Lord Saddler is calling the villagers! -It’s Watermelon thinking time! -You chose not to think, so you are the honorary Steven of the- Are they gonna sacrifice this one? I feel that’s what this is leading towards. -MALACHITE! -Yay I just beat Super Mario Brothers 2. I mean woke up. -So, remember when I said that nothing else was that important in the plot aside from the cluster? Well, this has changed suddenly and Peridot doesn’t like that. -TO THE NEAREST WARP PAD! huff-huff-huff-huff -I was going to show some surprise at Peridot hating Jasper but then again I remember that being a thing in Season 1 so… carry on. -Steven, when have you at any point listened to the words “too dangerous”? -What kind of plan is “fall asleep and go into another watermelon”?! -Co-op hackeysack WHEN SUDDENLY -Finger Snap Dance. -F**k I forgot the name of their ultimate fusion. -Okay looked it up, it’s Alexanderite. Was that mentioned yet? -Chin mouth speaks up to be the peace keeper. -“I may be outnumbered but you’re out of your depth” *Summons water hands*. -Voice acting’s feels a little subpar to me. It might be intentional how emotionless they both are. -Okay maybe I’m just full of it. -I was gonna say that they better not lose to a hand grabbing them, but then fire breath happens. Be careful now. -Water becomes ice. -All the weapon- WAIT WHAT ARROWS WHAT?! -Yeah, seeing that I’d also just put up an ice wall and block it. -Water wi- Oh I forgot Malachite is made up of just hands… Hrmmm… -Suddenly she has Jasper’s weapon. Everyone has everyone’s weapons!! -Watermelon speak. -RAAAAAAH! -Jasper slowly becomes addicted to sex I mean fusion. -Malachite has alerted the horde. -Rocks followed swiftly by more rocks. -OH! I was not expecting them to start killing the Watermelon Stevens actually. -Also, I kind of liked how initially Malachite just found their attack funny but then slowly lost her temper with them. Neat touch. -Swing around and PUNCH to the face! -Stomach punch reaction shot. -Big Bang Attack BUT FIRST A COOL ONE LINER -I’ve put everything I’ve got into this move! HAAAAAA! -Also Special Beam Cannon. -NO GET YOUR INFLATION PORN OUT OF MY CARTOON! -Star eyes. -Good to know Amethyst is alive. -Embarrassed watermelons. -IT WASN’T MALACHITE! -Well there goes Jasper. -Crying Watermelon. -I have a bad feeling about- Why am I having a bad feeling about “We love you”?! -Night sounds.
FINAL THOUGHTS: It was alright. Mostly the beginning banter between Malachite and Alexandrite felt off, but it picked up for the ending. I remember this being a two-part special, so a good set up at least, I’m left wondering what’s going to happen. That’s really all there is to say about it.
Okay so I don’t have a lot to say about games at this moment.
I also don’t have an Xbox One. I’m sorry if that disqualifies me from discussing what I’m about to, but I would have only bought the system for Killer Instinct and the Rare Replay which isn’t really enough to invest in a hundreds dollar system. That also means I’ve been ignorant to what Xbox is doing right now other than the fact that they’ve barely had any first party titles compared to pretty much anything else. They’ve been in hibernation and its plain to see that the system isn’t exactly succeeding because of it. You can’t sell your system on Crackdown 3 and Gears of War Funko Pop Game. But I’ve been naive. Xbox is actually doing something pretty big. It’s innovative, it’s consumer friendly… and perhaps you may be mistaken for thinking that Microsoft were idiots to do it. But in truth, there is a sort of insidiousness here that you may not notice at first. Something that feeds on market trickery and lies. Of couse, to reach that point we must explain… the Xbox Gamepass!
I promise it’s more than “some creators are just better than other ones”.
Ladies and gentlemen, we gather here, to point out these bones which are no different than a dog’s bones or anyone else’s. These bones signify the death of a particular project whose death is significant for my point today. A point that is poignant to any small time creator, company owner, writer, game designer, musician, or even director. This grave here is marked with a simple name, one that will take some time to explain: A Second Mario Thing.
You’re not the problem and neither am I. But then who’s problem is it?!
I mean… do you want another Doom article? I can make one!
I have never beat a single Animal Crossing game. I’ve played the original, I’ve played Wild World, I played someone else’s copy of New Leaf, but at no point did I pay off my loans on any of them. I technically beat Animal Crossing Pocket Camp in that I payed off my camper, but well… that’s a Animal Crossing game in the barest sense. So, why am I about to play on someone else’s copy of New Horizons? They have it, they’re gonna play it for a while then like always we’re probably going to drop it and it’ll stay in our collection forever. Why? What do we gain from picking these games up knowing it’s not gonna work out? Like we’re giving up pets because the responsibility is too much but then we see one commercial for pets and we rush out to get another hoping its different this time. Why am I like this? Well the answer is easy, but I’d rather start from the beginning so as to trace my thought process out a bit more.
Getting to the finish line in last place is still finishing the race, right?
So. What’s big this month? Persona and Final Fantasy? Well, I haven’t played FF7 ever and I would rather keep my computer free of gorn so I guess I have to pull from personal experiences again. Sigh.
So, I don’t preorder games. Not unless, even in the worse case scenario, I am certain I’ll enjoy what I’m buying. Of those games I did purchase, I have preordered Wind Waker, Soul Calibur 6, Pokemon Colosseum, Smash 4, and Smash Ultimate. Just putting that out there before I talk about No Man’s Sky and Dice’s second Star Wars Battlefront game. There’s a lot in common when it comes to their histories. Sort of. Both are centered around space, both were looking to be huge money makers in their own ways and both released with problems that couldn’t just be overlooked. So if you back up to the point that both games are really far away, they’re practically the same. With that in mind, let’s cover the histories of both for those of you that live under rocks.
Gonna need everyone to be quiet for this next move.
Speed Running is a weird thing to use as a selling point to me. It’s not like it’s wrong to do such a thing, since the speed running community has such a large viewer base and are regularly able to give millions in donations during Awesome Games Done Quick and Summer Games Done Quick. But it’s a weird concept in terms of advertising, because I find it to be a phrase that doesn’t consider the whole of the term. It ascribes to the mainstream term rather than the whole. So with that in mind, what does it really mean to sell a speed run to someone?
Hey, so remember when I did five hot takes last year? It’s gonna be like that again… except maybe not. EXCEPT- Okay, no horsing around, I’m late to writing this again.
Nothing is perfect. That’s is mostly because perfection differs from person to person, but it’s also because there will never be a perfect transfer of ideas to paper or from paper to screen. Or even from screen to paper to ideas. Does that make sense? Well, just understand that even a creator won’t be able to make exactly what they intend. Sometimes this creates something better than they ever imagined, but it can also ruin everything. Sometimes, one flaw, cut corner, or even an attempt to correct a flaw can change everything. If you want an example, just look at how Last of Us managed to avoid being another bad escort game because partners can’t be detected until you are. Or by Mighty No. 9 making you vulnerable during your enemy absorbing dash move. A single moment of invulnerability, a sound, something that takes a moment to decide upon in a boardroom can save or condemn a project. So here’s some examples of small things and how they changed a game. Some of them may not be interesting. I don’t know.