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Introduction

A final warning.

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I’m more or less writing this to get rid of that stupid picture they put in here.

I’ll give you a picture, you little…

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Continue reading “Introduction”

Tazy Watches Steven Universe Season 2 (3/3)

Now that the move in is finished… let’s finish off Season 2, shall we?

Episode 19: When It Rains
– Uh oh, I remember the last time it rained on this show. Also, it pours.
– PERIDOT IS STILL IN THE BATHROOM!!?
– Technically, they didn’t destroy your stuff, so much as threw them into the ocean. They’re water proof, right?
– Hi, Steven.
– Sure you’re not gonna crack, Pearl?
– 
– Pearl, were you gonna punch through that door? …I kinda wanna see that.
– How thin are the walls here that Peridot can hear Pearl say she’s harmless from that far away? Do Gems have super hearing?
– Stay classy, Garnet.
– Peridot continues to act like an animal and flips out over thunder.
– Does the Gem Homeworld not have weather?
– Can’t you at least retain information into your brain without your screen?
– Steven, your soup is evaporating, It’s time to take it off the stove.
– Steven. Your soup.
– He got wet fast. Also, Peridot has no reason to believe that she’ll be okay just because you are. You’re different species.
– Steven finds endless fun from running around in a circle.
– Technically, rain is always cold. So, I guess Steven would be right?
– *breathes in* Thank you.
– “I’m willing to share some information with you” “Aw, I know you used my toothbrush.” This shouldn’t make me laugh, but here we are.
– I know you trust Steven over the Gems, but all he can do is… Actually nevermind, he has like a sword and a shield now. He’s totally dependable at this point.
– Holding Steven’s hand?! I refuse! *runs back into bathroom*
– *star generates from eye*
– RIP Peridot and Steven. It takes the Gems three years to find their corpses.
– STILL HOLDING HANDS YOU DIDN’T SEE ANYTHING!!
– Actually, it doesn’t look that bad compared to last time, Steven. I guess the lighting changed.
– Now is not the time to learn about the birds and the bees. At the very least, Cartoon Network won’t allow it.
– Mom and Dad are expensive gemstones worth a lot on the gem market.
– How is that possible? Well, I’m assuming Greg had to get creative.
– Peridot has no time for Steven’s singing.
– Peridot is a wimp nerd confirmed.
– Seeing what that geogem thing was during Keeping It Together, I would really like to avoid the Cluster if I can…
– The Cluster will destroy the planet and also look like a yellow version of that thing that says “oh no” all the time.
– WHAT’S STEVEN SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT THIS THING? SING IT TO SLEEP?!?!
– You’re going to do jack s**t from the bathroom. (Which is pretty much what anyone does in the bathroom).
– The Gem Mutants don’t look as bad as they were before. That’s good.
– I must wait until the two are out of the way before I attack. I don’t want to hurt them or anything.
– “Let’s run into this corner” “Oh no, we’re cornered!” Sounds like the editor is playing a dumb joke.
– You should have brought Lion with you, Steven. You’ve blundered again.
– Remember when I said these things weren’t disturbing anymore? I was naive.
– Here she comes at the speed of sound, Amethyst the Hedgehog.
– You need EVERYONE’S help to stop a world destroying monster. The Fantastic Four know that much.
– What’s with that look, Peridot?
– HOW DAAAAARE PERIDOT LIGHTLY SHOVE STEVEN OUT OF THE WAY!
– I have something to tell you about the Cluster- END SCENE!!

FINAL THOUGHTS: It’s an explanation episode pure and simple though they did get some characterization in there. Knowing what I do know there are things that I might be looking far too into at this point but it seems we’re centering on the Cluster plot now. We’ll see where we go from here at least. Solid episode and a good start to this plot.

Continue reading “Tazy Watches Steven Universe Season 2 (3/3)”

In Defense of Lives: Sonic Mania and The Initial Trend of Autosaves

Game Overs are good actually, says professional jerkoff.

When the console generation of the Playstation 3, Xbox 360, and Wii started there was a lot of new technology to take in. There were better graphics and online play became a standard due to the advancements made with Xbox Live. But what is most important to the current conversation is the end of Memory Cards, something the Xbox also pioneered but was not entirely accepted due to it hampering backwards compatability. Eventually, you just had to deal with it but with the system being able to handle everything on its own, including saving, that meant we could now autosave much more easily than before. The last generation started autosaves, but it was this generation that made it required for normal function of the system. But this also caused a lot of hard truths to bubble towards the surface. That includes confronting the issue of redoing progress and for a while lost progress was unacceptable.

Continue reading “In Defense of Lives: Sonic Mania and The Initial Trend of Autosaves”

Tazy watches Steven Universe Season 2 (2/3)

Note to self, don’t take a huge break so you forget your place somewhere.

My bad.

Episode 10: Chille Tid
– Did the title maker have a stroke or…?
– Is this the sequel to Cheesburger Backpa- I’m sorry is Amethyst drowning Steven over there?!
– “I don’t get tired, I get results” Okay, Pearl. Let me know how that works out for you.
– RIP Steven.
– Seeing what the Jasper/Lapis fusion became I really wouldn’t go looking for them. But hey, I’m not a Gem so IGNORE ME!
– Steven Universe: Saved by life jackets.
– Steven is now a fish.
– You’re ten thousand light years from finding Jasper and Lapis!
– Darn! Light years doesn’t measure time… It measures distance!
– “Life diaper”? Pearl, I’d have thought you knew what a diaper was since… you know. Steven.
– “I don’t need a life jacket” says Garnet, “I make one with my own body!”
– Their anger will take over and destroy… what? Themselves? The world? These deals? What?!
– Wow! Steven falls asleep faster than I do!
– I’m fiiiiiiiine *falls asleep again*
– God, Pearl don’t be a bitch. You didn’t say anything when Garnet said Steven has to sleep.
– “Sleep is a curse, and yet a curse I need to live” -Great philosopher Steven Universe, 20whenever A.D.
– HE ACTUALLY SAID STEVEN UNIVERSE AT THE END OF THAT LINE!
– When this show goes for gross out humor it always takes me off guard. I’m not really used to it here? Probably better than having it in every episode *cough* …I have no examples in mind, just say King Star King and get it over with.
– Pearl sees no fun in Steven tossing pillows on the ground for a slumber party.
– I’M AL- Garnet, you can’t make everyone else relax but you. It’s a little disingenuous.
– Slumber companion on a plate… 1. Those are too small for anyone but you. 2. I doubt the gems need a stuffed toy to sleep. Then again, I’ve been wrong in the past so…
– Amethyst, master of sleep. She also falls asleep faster than I do.
– Steven Universe does not need to become a sitcom. Stop this.
– Steven’s wearing a suit and sandals. 1/10 or 100. Also, why is Pearl on her knees?
– Complete with audience laughing over everything that happens! *canned laughter*
– Angakowa? *canned laughter*
– And so Pearl and Amethyst disappear into the abyss. *canned laughter*
– *Actual laughter* *canned laughter with screams of adoration* WHAT’S WITH THOSE EYES?!?!
– URGH! CHILLE TID WAS A CATCH PHRASE!! *canned laughter*
– That’s not Connie. *canned laughter*
– You’re gonna get dehydrated if you keep that up.
– Dreams aren’t always boring, Steven. I’ve had a few roller coaster dreams myself. Not that they make sense either, but my point stands.
– Steven was right. Dreams are so boring everyone fell asleep.
– Is Dogcopter just brown now?
– Meow.
– I’m sorry. What rumors about Dopcopter?
– This happening twice in a row can only mean that they’re all being mentally connected at this moment for some reason. …Wait, I may have seen what’s about to happen.
– Awwww… I feel a little bad for Pearl now. But wait, that means they aren’t connected. Just Steven and Lapis. Or maybe not! WHO KNOWS!
– Pizza?!!?! I thought she hated human food.
– THIS DREAM IS NOW A NIGHTMARE!!! Also Pearl x Greg it’s happening now.
– MORE PIZZA!
– It needs to be a mixed up movie otherwise Pearl seeing Greg spit out a pizza slice is I M P O R T A N T!
– But you guys saw her embarrassing dream. I guess that might help you get bored of it quicker?
– LUCID DREAMING! Don’t forget to reward yourself when you wake up, Steven.
– Chille Tid!
– IT’S J-J-J-J-J-J- Wait, first it’s Lapis then Jasper.
– Muh-Muh-Muh-Muh- MALACHITE! MALACHITE!
– This Slumber Party has been anything but relaxing.
– Garnet also sleeps faster than I do.

FINAL THOUGHTS: O…kay. This was very weird and by all accounts it was an interesting take on… more or less introducing Malachite without having to be face to face with her. I know she’ll show up again but for the moment it’s upping the stakes pretty nicely. Steven cares about Lapis but she still has her own issues to deal with. For now, I’m excited. I have an idea of what happens but not how or why and I’ll just have to see. Continue reading “Tazy watches Steven Universe Season 2 (2/3)”

Tazy watches Steven Universe Season 2 (1/3)

I’VE
BEEN PLAYING LOTS OF GAMES
SO I KIND OF PUT THIS OFF
AND IF YOU THINK I’M DONE
WELL
I’M HERE ANYWAY.
…Ahem.

So. I watched Season 1 and really liked it. Most of the episodes outside of a couple were great and it made me want to watch more. So… let’s watch more! You first!

…Oh, wait. That’s not how this works.

I’m going to “liveblog” my feelings on an episode as I watch it then give my immediate thoughts. Then I’ll rank them all from best to worst. It’s not a definitive list so much as my thoughts on them though so I could very well have a case of the “bad taste tm” But I hope you like these regardless.

FULL DISCLOSURE: I know about a lot of the really important story points in the series and certain characters so if you were looking forward to my reaction to Jasper coming back… don’t. Also Jasper comes back. OH NO.

Episode 1: Full Disclosure
– …You did that on purpose, didn’t you?
– I will be honest. If Jenocide didn’t tell me this is where Season 2 starts I’d be surprised by the lack of a time skip.
– Green fire everywhere. Also, I don’t see how this could have gone better seeing how you got whupped during round 1.
– Even Lion is affectionate!
– Where’s Lion going…?
– I forget. Did Steven have a black eye at the end of Season 1? I don’t… remember.
– “They totally stomped us.” I know I just said you got stomped, but you should have started with them being defeated for your dad’s sake.
– Poor Greg. I don’t think his eyes can get any bigger. Wait nevermind.
– I severely doubt “Homeworld” consists of three gems and a hand.
– Greg gets horrible crippling stress like the rest of us. Also, hahahahahaha.
– WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS VAN? NO ONE EVEN TOUCHED IT THIS TIME!
– The Big Donut is destroyed? Nope. Nothing is fine. It’s terrible. All terrible.
– This… is gonna hard to explain. Also, wouldn’t quite be Steven Universe without the comma eyes.
– Just realizing this story is probably gonna be about Steven needing to explain what happened and not wanting to stress people out. Which… Yeah. That’s gonna be difficult.
– I think I saw this scene muted.
– Of course Renaldo didn’t f**king leave. I bet he saw everything.
– This cliff is only for those woke enough to bear the burden of the Sneeple.
– There goes Renaldo with his terrible advice.
– I’m pretty sure Connie already knows about them being superheroes- wait. Are you telling Steven to cut all ties with everyone?
– And there he goes.
– Oh song okay.
– Oh, and it goes with the ringtone. Nice!
– Steven is not photogenic at all. :tongue:
– Recap of the last two episodes.
– So, now I remember that he had that black eye for a while now. Whoops! That’s what happens when you wait this long.
– Answers call, but no one says anything.
– I don’t know the name of the song but it’s pretty good. Gets the point across well enough.
– Ow. Ooo. Steven. You caught me off guard with that sudden sharp edge there. I’m not bleeding, but it’s a surprise.
– Didn’t you have a fence with barbed wire when Greg showed up the first time? Wait, no you didn’t. He climbed over it. Never mind.
– CROCODIIIIIIIIIIILE! Jazz hands.
– How many times did she offer to be the crocodile?!
– WHINE WHINE WHINE NO I DON’T MMMMMM.
– What the f**k. This sounds so tryhard I can’t take it seriously.
– Finally someone other than Steven notices.
– WHAT’S WITH THE SHADOW OVER HIS EYES!? IS THAT JUST HIS FOREHEAD?!
– IT’S STILL THERE!!!
– This is gonna get awkward, isn’t it?
– So desperate to avoid Connie he’ll literally leave the house. Don’t you have a teleporter to go hide somewhere with?
– Well that worked for all of one minute.
– He could have hid in those cells and probably not get spotted.
– Oh no… Are they gonna break up? Is the series gonna really do this?
– Oh that’s right. She has no friends. S**t.
– Steven. No.
– Well that lasted for all of fifteen seconds.
– Cut to black so he can explain everything.
– Hopefully whatever this stupid thing is doesn’t take all the water from the ocean.
– How did you fix your car, Greg?
– Shot of everything going back to normal. Yay!

FINAL THOUGHTS: I can see why they started back here now that I’ve seen what the episode is about. Steven isn’t really that good at brooding but maybe that was the point? I still worried about him and Connie and I was totally ready for them to end it there if that means anything? Though the fact that this episode could have gone either way works in my opinion. It shows that they put this idea ahead of the usual season structure, regardless of what it should or shouldn’t have been. Continue reading “Tazy watches Steven Universe Season 2 (1/3)”

Tazy watches Steven Universe Season 1 (5/5)

So apparently I was wrong and this one is going to be longer than the rest.

My bad. However, we’ll still see how it goes.

WE… ARE THE CRYSTAL GEMS!

Episode 41: Horror Club
-Starting this episode off on the right foot with a scare chord. Right on!
– What is with the skull in Lars’s ear hole?
– If Renaldo is throwing a scary movie party then I better see some “Sneeple” in there.
– “I was making fun of Renaldo before but now that Sadie is going I’m going to change my mind.” Poor Lars, getting dragged into Steven’s shenanigans.
– Are you sure you locked that, Lars?
– Of course it’s his secret base on top of the mountain. Scare Chord.
– When did he get the scarecrows?
– He’s the Phantom of the Opera with Werewolf hands. Just… gonna process that for a second.
– That mask was made of like glass or some weird paper mache?
– Wondering if there’s some history between Lars and Renaldo or if it’s just their personalities clashing. Guess we’ll find out.
– “You’re friends with Lars?” “Yeah! Isn’t everybody?” Steven, you tried to get Lars fired from his job because you wanted it.
– OH BOY.
– You’re pretty much condemned to either horror films or devil worship with a name like Demonzini.
– I don’t see the “Barely Alive” part on that box, Renaldo. You made that up.
– Lars is just going to criticize every movie Renaldo brings out, isn’t he?
– Renaldo Fryguy: Evil Bear 2 Purist.
– …Was Lars a bully…?
– “I can handle it.” Proceed to show Steven not handling it.
– Renaldo. You’re not helping anybody by saying it was a ghost.
– Of course his attempt to contact ghosts is working… or it’s the wind, though unless that thing is wafer thin it shouldn’t… Okay, nevermind!
– THE GHOST HATES LARS. CONFIRMED. Also, Renaldo likes the ghost for hating Lars.
– The f*%k?! Is this real ghosts now?!
– Not only is it a real life haunted house, it’s now a real life barrel minigame from Street Fighter 2 and 4
– All these cups have brown liquid in them… *smug smile* That’s right. I’m insinuating it’s Hot Chocolate poo
– Ghost does its own door repair. Thanks ghost- It’s probably that rock Renaldo had and it’s a gem. Calling it now.
– RENALDO ANGRY FACE.
– Sadie is pretty good at taking charge. Like charging a gem monster. She’s good at that.
– Lars is jealous. Hahahahahahaha.
– Nothing is real. We are all manifestations of reality that don’t have spirits!
– Oh, so that’s why he had scarecrows. Got it.
– This ghost REALLY hates Lars.
– Get out and here’s a couple bats for the road!
– …Poltergeist is a synonym for ghost… Oh, okay. At least you’re explaining your weird theories.
– They’re attracted to the emotionally disturbed? Then why aren’t they attacking Steven? Wait, weren’t they attacking Steven earlier?!
– “Dink”?
– “Sadie! You’re not an idiot!” Hahahahahahaha.
– Lars, you’re losing it. Calm down. What do you think is going to happen…? *worried glance*
– WHAT THE F**K?! THAT’S LITERALLY HELL?!
– O_O …Rest in peace, Sadie.
– SECRET HATCH OPEN TO THE SOUND OF CREEPY MOANING.
– Oh so it was the red lighting down here. Got it.
– Ste…ven? What are you doing?
– First mouth!
– Remember that one time Renaldo tried to kill Lars? Because he’s totally killing Lars right now.
– Sorry. Cartoon Network won’t let you see Steven activate his bubble because that mouth is a little too human.
– Great adaptation of the High Priestess fight.
– Called it. Gem. Though not the rock Renaldo had. I was half right.
– Oh… It remembers Renaldo and Lars.
– Wow. I’m surprised what broke their friendship was technically both their faults. Then again, maybe I shouldn’t be.
– Uh oh. Steven maybe you shouldn’t have let Renaldo see that…

FINAL THOUGHTS: Was not expecting history between Lars and Renaldo… though it probably makes sense, yeah? They’re around the same age. It seems this is the new standard for episodes now. Glad to see it’s just getting better and better. Of course, we still have more ground to cover, right? Continue reading “Tazy watches Steven Universe Season 1 (5/5)”

Tazy watches Steven Universe Season 1 (4/5)

I forget when it was I did this last?

Oh well, who cares. Jenocide has warned me about a few things involving the numbering of episodes so (5/5) is going to be shorter than the others. Just as a heads up.

Episode 31: Keep Beach City Weird
– We’re focusing on this now? *sigh*
– Since when does Garnet get involved in Amethyst’s shenanigans?
– Garnet plays tag for keeps.
– WHY IS RONALDO WEARING BODY ARMOR AND CAMOUFLAGE?
– “Properly suited” “Sandwich bags on hands and nothing else” Okay.
– THESE HOLES! IT’S LIKE THEY WERE MADE FOR ME!
– Why are you out here hunting the truth? Just ask Steven for stuff. He’ll tell you without even worrying about the consequences.
– I HAVE TO YELL FOR THIS CONVERSATION!
– “Do you want to get your hands… REALLY dirty?” *Steven takes the sandwich bags off* Did you just give him those for the gag?
– Look, Josuke! Gems just juttin’ out the street!
– Shun,Shun,Shun…
– Ronaldo, what secrets could you possibly have?
– Wait. Your office is over Steven’s house…?
– DEWEY
– Issat… Issat Spock?
– Snake People! Of course! …Oh, I’m sorry. “Sneeple” as Ronaldo calls it.
– …He’s basically saying the government is lizard people.
– Why is the other symbol a gem on that currency? Do the gems control our country? Oh, nevermind. It represents their underground mines. My bad.
– Oh, Snakes vs. Serpents! This is gonna be a good one!
– This is something someone actually thinks, huh? I mean… some people still believe the earth is flat. It’s possible.
– Of course, Rebecca would know all about anime message boards.
– Steven will never recover from becoming #woke.
– Steven, everything is funny about Sneeple.
– Yeah, I knew the holes were gonna be from something. I just barely remember it is all… It’s been a couple weeks shut up.
– Same goes for the gem and the flowers.
– WE WERE THE SNAKE PEOPLE ALL ALONG!!!
– The snake people left this crater as a sign that you need to slide into home base feet first.
– 
– The gem jutting out the steet might not be from the eye, but I’ve been wrong before.
– “Truth is a feeling in your gut that you know is true.” …
– He’s gonna think Steven’s a sneeple isn’t he?
– And here I was thinking that I was gonna come out of this scene disliking Ronaldo. Shows what I know.
– Sometimes the bluntness of the gems really bristles against me.
– Also, Pearl is bad at petting.
– Also, I might agree with Pearl a little. Also Amethyst.
– Wait, Petey is spelled “Peedee”?!
– Who peels potatoes outside willingly?
– Hasn’t even been a couple of minutes and Ronaldo is already growing a despair beard.
– This is working?!
– Not the reaction I was expecting… then again, that’s probably what someone facing his nemesis would do.
– “One of” the monster people he’s been hunting?
– Peedee is not prepared for this at all.
– They know where Steven is a few hours after being captured by Ronaldo, but when he gets lost on an island for a week they never show up. I know it’s the plot. It’s still a bother.
– I was going to comment on Ronaldo having armor under his shirt, but then Amethyst just kicks him in the face.
– Poor Renaldo…
– Yasegabababa.
– Never have I felt joy for someone doubling down on bad theories.
– WAIT HE MIGHT ACTUALLY BE ON TO SOMETHING AND THAT SCARES ME.
– Defeating the Crystal Gems with his blog. One story at a time.

FINAL THOUGHTS: I really like this one. It’s one of those, like Tiger Millionaire, where I feel like the writers really know what they’re doing. They could’ve made Renaldo follow a bunch of crackpot beliefs and be some strawman conspiracy theorist, but they really make you feel for Renaldo even though you know he’s wrong. That takes quite a bit of talent and I’m impressed. Not that this is anything new. Continue reading “Tazy watches Steven Universe Season 1 (4/5)”

Tazy watches Steven Universe Season 1 (3/5)

QUICK WHILE THERE’S STILL TIME!

Episode 21: Joking Victim
– All it’s going to take is one bad day.
– Those french fries look like they’d cut the roof of your mouth.
– I was laughing nervously, but now. Now I am laughing for real.
– Poor Steven. Never any water when he needs it.
– Lars has terrible balance.
– Steven is giving back the the community doughnut shop.
– …Can you just hire someone like that…? I’m not sure about this being correct.
– “The most magical place I’ve ever seen” but he’s seen floating towers, and giant strawberry fields.\
– Steven looks so disappointed that napkins aren’t named after naps. XD
– Don’t you have to keep doughnuts frozen so they don’t go bad…?
– Hahahahahahaha SOMEONE DIED IN THIS ROOM MAKING DOUGHNUTS.
– Local celebrity Harold Smiley.
– Eat a big Donmt
– I’ve seen this before (a friend showed “Donuts at the Big Donut” to me a while ago) but… big props to Smiley for an implied singing of all the rules and regulations. Surprised he never took off.
– Petey rides on Fryguy’s shoulders?
– Smiley acts like I do when I order food. (Though I didn’t sing instructions for their employees, so…)
– Poor Smiley.
– Jesus, Steven. What’s Lars gonna do without this job, go be a Crystal Gem?
– Nope, Steven hates Lars because he called his mom weird.
– Army of War might actually be the name of a mobile title copying Clash of Clans or something.
– Go see your doctor if your soul is fried by Donut Fever.
– This cool club continues to fascinate me in what they enjoy doing.
– You shouldn’t tell Steven you wanna burn him- Ahhh! This is where the fries come back into play, huh?
– “I know how to burn people!” Yeah, you take a flamethrower and-
– I have no idea what I’m doing.
– Don’t play with my perspective, show. I know what you’re trying to justify here.
– I don’t think Amethyst put the whole vial on those fries Steven ate.
– “Why is Steven in a donut suit?” More like a Big Donut shirt… Was he supposed to be wearing something dumber in this scene?
– Steven stop.
– Lars is on fire! We’re gonna need a red gel for that!
– The cup is melting!
– Does Mayor Dewey have a sunburn all over his body today?
– I love when this series does something predictable because it also tries to fake you out for a moment. Not in an annoying way, but it’s… something you can appreciate even if you see the joke coming.
– That wasn’t enough?!
– Amethyst hasn’t left the boardwalk since yesterday…?
– Gotta agree with Amethyst on this one.
– THE HEIMLICH MANEUVER DOESN’T HELP WHEN SOMEONE’S MOUTH IS ON FIRE, STEVEN.
– That actually did it?!
– Amethyst and Steven

FINAL THOUGHTS: …Yeah. I’ll admit that I didn’t care as much for this episode that I did for the last few. It was okay, nothing too special or noteworthy to me. I didn’t hate it, but it wasn’t much aside from a few scenes. Continue reading “Tazy watches Steven Universe Season 1 (3/5)”